What I know...What I've learned.

I've only been on the planet for a blink of an eye and I'll admit, I don't know much. I know even less about things that don't relate to the life I've lived... if that makes any sense. That's the first step in trying to understand something... admitting that you don't know and start your educational journey.

I'm a white female who was raised in a white community in small town America. Diversity has always been something I've had to seek out. I had limited interactions with people of color growing up, mainly with adopted children in my community. My early childhood education of race was me overhearing conversations by adults about black people. It was never outwardly mean or vulgar, but responses to characterizations and gossip. I was a quiet child and I liked being a part of adult conversations. In my mind, adults knew everything so I believed everything they said. As I got older Sesame Street, The Cosby Show, In Living Color became introductions to other narratives surrounding people of color. In fourth grade I remember watching Roots and it blew my mind (thank God for my teachers). I started to learn about diversity, prejudice, race relations, slavery in America. I started to realize my privilege, even though I didn't recognize it as that at the time. My parents did what they could to expose me to other ways of life, but there were limited options. Growing up in a small white town, it was hard to escape the ignorance surrounding several factions of society. I felt siloed from the rest of the world.

A racist isn't just a guy in Mississippi wearing a white hood terrorizing black neighbors. A racist isn't always outwardly evil. Racism can be quiet. Racism is a construct embedded within our daily lives and it can be incredibly subtle, until it's not. I had an opportunity to go to college and get an education in race relations and learned how I contribute to the oppression of the African American community. Yes, at first I had a hard time with it. I got upset and felt I needed to defend myself. It's a hard thing to hear that you're a part of a problem and have no conscious attachment to your contributions. It took me a while to realize I was making it about me, which is a common mistake. I started to listen with new ears. I started to really hear what my classmates were trying to tell me. I started catching myself doing things in my daily life that I hadn't noticed before. Reaching to lock my car door when a black person would walk by or being more alert when a black person would get on the bus. Catching myself making assumptions about the way black people live their lives. Little planted ideas had gotten there somehow without a history of any real harm or occurrence. I started noticing the portrayal of black people on television and the characterizations that perpetuated these ideas of black people being sassy, poor, thugs, thieves, over sexualized. I woke up.

The small, daily thoughts and actions that are not based on a reality, but a characterization of a race. These things push policy, actions, and the way we interact with people of color in this country. Those tiny thoughts and actions turn into larger thoughts and actions that snowball into law and intertwine into our society at large. The idea that it's okay for a police officer to put his knee on a black man's neck while he's on the ground, ignoring pleas for help. That comes from a 400 year history of thoughts and actions that encouraged the hatred and despicable treatment of the African American community in this country. It's a hard truth and we have to ask ourselves if we care enough to stop it. Do we care enough to recognize it in ourselves? Do we want to? For me, education and putting myself in uncomfortable situations where people of color were telling their stories is what started my journey of enlightenment. I was fortunate enough to complete my education in Kenya where I was able to get a whole new perspective on Kenyan culture, tribalism, and ways in which African and black culture are intertwined. I started to truly understand that I knew nothing and would never understand the experiences of people of color because I'm white. Even today, I welcome more education because that's what I require of myself to be a better human. I'm here to use my privilege in ways that will benefit my fellow human of color. If I don't, what does that say?

We have to ask ourselves, do we care? Do we care enough to step outside of ourselves and see how we are contributing to the larger problem? Are we brave enough to question the leaders in our communities that may have outdated ideas about race? You have a choice and you make that choice if you do nothing. It took me time to push through what I learned as a child, to understand the roots of racism within my life. We are not equal in this country and we never have been. You may not think that racism is prevalent in your community, but maybe you need to take a closer look. It's okay to be wrong and it's okay to not know something. Ignorance can be a starting point to something pretty amazing... Understanding. Use your voice within your white communities to promote equality, even if you know it won't be met with kind ears. Those small conversations spread like wildfire and we need to light a match. It's time people. Activism is a conversation. Black lives matter BECAUSE all lives matter. All humans deserve a chance to be treated equally.

Take care of yourselves and be mindful of others and their ability to change. We all have work to do. Be kind and reach out for help if needed. You got this! We got this!

“No one is born hating another person because of the color of his skin, or his background, or his religion. People must learn to hate, and if they can learn to hate, they can be taught to love, for love comes more naturally to the human heart than its opposite.” Nelson Mandela